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| Patricia Helle January 11, 1953 - June 30, 2013 |
Another woman I knew, lost her battle on Saturday. Her daughter, June (pictured right) is a dear friend of mine and was my "BFF" for several years in Elementary School.
Her mother lost her battle with breast cancer this past weekend. I spent a lot of time with Patti as a child...see previous mention of June being my BFF.
Patti was kind, generous, loving and like most mothers I know, very, very strong. The last time I saw her was last summer's Rose Run, where I did the run in support of her.
This year it will be in her honor and memory....added to the growing list of women I know who have not made it, for whatever reason.
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God has his hand on Patti's family, that I'm certain of. Patti doesnt need our prayers any longer, I am certain of that as well. She is in the arms of the Father, resting easy, feeling more love than we can imagine.
June and her family need our prayers. This, I am also certain of. Because I know what it's like to truly understand the end is coming for your mother...you can see it, you can taste it, you can feel it.
It comes.
And, for a brief moment, there is relief. Almost joy in the lack of suffering you see in the woman you so dearly treasure. You are happy for her...almost. You are selfishly happy for yourself, that you dont have to see it any longer...for a few moments, anyway. Her process has ended.
But for you, it only begins.
The process begins.
I thought I would share the first post from after my mother died. I remember waking up heavy, for several days. The memorial was fast...and easy. The funeral, made things slow down, not so easy...and life after her death, seemed to come to a halt.
Life moved on around me, like I was God's puppet He graciously kept moving so I wouldn't fall apart. Because He knew I would, if He wasn't in control.
So, today, I will attend a showing and tomorrow, a funeral.
But on July 20th...I will help host another Rose Run....to continue the fight. We are raising our weapons and charging through the battle lines to defeat the enemy, someday.
It will be defeated.
My weapons are drawn.
Feeling Heavy 1/30/09
Every morning since my mother’s passing, I’ve woken up feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. A big truck. My body aches, my heart races and my heart is sore. My eyes are heavy and not even from tears, because I believe many tears have yet to come. I have been shedding many tears for a long time now. I’ve spent so much time with mom and have seen the end coming closer quick. Just not this quick. The events from the past week are an absolute blur. I swear to myself that I’m still sleeping and although logically, I have a complete understanding of what has happened, emotionally, I’m still. How can I have such disbelief that my mom is gone, but still know that she is.
Yesterday, for three seconds, I forgot. I picked up the phone to call her. When I remembered, I cried. Briefly. My tears were interrupted by a little boy asking for my help with something. He couldn’t fit two blocks together, so I sat and showed him how. Then I smiled. What a blessing these two babies are. Again, I do understand that death is a part of life, I really do understand that. But, at 30 years young, I cant seem to wrap my head around loosing my mother this week. It might take me another 30 to be ok. I’m not sure. Only time will tell.
