Happy Birthday Mom.

Today she would have been 58 years old.

I’m not going to get all sad and sappy about it, because the last birthday she had was really fun. She laughed a lot, but she always laughed a lot.

She honestly found a lot of things funny, including herself.
She laughed a lot at herself.

She laughed hysterically telling the story of when she ordered some french fries and a fish sandwich at McDonalds and pulled away after paying...neglecting to get her food....forgetting she had even ordered food until 3 miles down the road!

She laughed at that one every time.

On this last birthday of hers, I picked up her cake at Kroger...the first words that came to my mind were “Sweet Rose.” I also went shopping for her at Macy’s and got her a bunch of stuff for fall...sweaters, jeans, tops.

None of which she ever wore. Those kinds of things arent comfortable during chemotherapy. I kind of knew that, but wanted her to feel pretty anyway.
As a matter of fact, I have all of those clothes now...and wear some myself from time to time.

I’m not too sad today...it’s just a sad situation. Birthdays are wonderful days. We celebrate life, right? Well, funerals and death are the same thing. We celebrate life...their life. I’ll be celebrating her life forever.

So, Happy Birthday Sweet Rose!

Candace Cameron-Bure...the conversation.

I had an amazing opportunity about a week ago to attend the exclusive unveiling of the new Disney Baby store at The Americana in Glendale.

Now Open! 

Inside Disney Baby

Love

Part of this celebration was a baby shower for 20 military moms presented by Operation Shower...which happens to be an amazing act of service for a lot of families. We were able to see what the store looked like and what they carried inside.


We had delicious eats, coffee and live music from Kenny Loggins. Yes...that Kenny Loggins. He now has a collection of children’s music and it’s quite delightful. Little does he know how many times I’ve played Footloose over and over since 1984 rocking out....like I was the original singer of the song.

 I felt extremely special at the invite to attend and cover this event as part of the media. We knew there would be celebrities, with or without their children, in attendance.  And I knew that I would be able to interview any of them if they were willing and had time. While waiting to get a personal tour of the store, I noticed Candace Cameron-Bure sitting at the table next to me. I had no idea she was going to be there.

Let me cut back to earlier that morning, before I even left home. I pray, like I do every morning, for the day, my husband, my children at school and whoever or whatever I feel needs praying for in my life. In particular, I prayed that I may have the chance to talk about God with someone that day. For anyone who follows me, or knows me well, you know I love to talk about God. So, that was my prayer.

Let’s go back to me noticing Candace sitting at the table next to me. There it was. My opportunity to talk about God. I didn't know what I would ask..or how I would even start a conversation about faith with her, but I knew I needed to talk to her. How would a conversation about faith have anything to do with a Disney Baby event? I wasn’t sure either.

As I stood outside the Disney Baby store waiting for my turn to see what’s inside, I saw Candace making her way to the exit. Still completely unaware of what I would say to her...and why, I did my best to get her attention and see if I could ask her a few questions.

The lovely Candace Cameron-Bure

And..I did.


The woman escorting her to her car told me that she couldn't, and didn't have time. But Candace politely said to her “No, it’s ok. Really, it’s fine.”

Face to face with Candace Cameron-Bure, I started to speak. It would actually be considered something more like mumbling...nonsense....embarrassment..you get the picture.

I was dying to ask her if John Stamos is as cute in person as he is on television, but luckily that’s not what came out. I briefly explained who I was and where I write...and what I write about. The poor girl probably thought some crazy blogger has just got a hold of her and there will certainly be no escape from this incoherent rambling....

Still unaware of what I wanted to say, I eventually got to this:


“So, I suppose what I’d like to know from you is, when I say “Parenting” and “Faith”, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

“Prayer.”  She replied to me knowing what her answer would be even before I finished my sentence.

“Prayer” she said again.

Thank you Lisa Robertson of BabesInDisneyland.com for this photo!

I had no idea what the etiquette was for recording someone’s conversation, so I neglected to pull out my iPhone and shove it in her face. 
Instead I grabbed my notebook and pen and began to write down her every word. This was a conversation I knew I wanted to keep in my head. Of course, now as I’m reading through my notes, they appear to be as incoherent as my interview technique was.

I’m going to paraphrase the amazing advice I received from Candace that morning, except where there are quotations...I did manage to get a few things down.

She humbly explained to me that she is “face down on her knees” every morning praying for her children, also sharing with me that she “now prays more than ever” for them because they are older and facing challenges in life that require more thought and discernment.

“The power of prayer over our children” is something she values with utmost importance. “Pray scripture over them.” Scripture is amazing. In my personal experience as a wife and mother, the Bible has been the absolute best source on parenting and marriage I have come across.

We continued to talk about how difficult it is to raise children, period. But being in Southern California with a fast pace of life and not always being surrounded by people who share our same worldview, can make it even more difficult. I know this would be true for most parents.

“My children are dedicated to the Lord” and that’s how she can feel confident that they are protected with Love when they walk out the door. This is something I’m hoping to correctly establish in raising my children with my husband...a dedication to God.

So, I suppose it was fitting that we had a conversation in front of the Disney Baby store where their tagline is “creating magical moments right from the start™.” Because, I truly feel that our opportunities are there with our kids right from the start.





My children will fulfill God’s will and purpose for their lives. (Psalm 138:8)

Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be “alert and self-controlled” in all they do.  (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

Father, grant that my children may “show proper respect to everyone,” as Your Word commands.
(1 Peter 2:17)

Grant that my children may learn responsibility, “for each one should carry his own load”.
(Galatians 6:5)

Taking The Kids Out And About

This week, while Shelby was in school, I took Hayden and Courtney to a place we’d never been before. It was close, it was cheap…and it happened to be a cemetery.

I know, I know…what in the world is there to do with your young children at a cemetery? Well, over by the Burbank Airport, you can see a beautifully sculpted building from the outside of a fence at a park we frequent. I’ve been noticing it for years but never knew what it was. My curiosity finally got the best of me and I drove up to it only to find the fence locked with a sign saying there was an aviation museum inside and telling you where to enter. The entrance is a place I’ve seen plenty of times, about a mile and a half away…The Valhalla Memorial Park. 

So, I drove to the entrance, pulled in very slowly and immediately had a strong urge to leave, and if there had been a clear exit marked, I just might have. Right ahead of me was a funeral service in process. My hands went to ten and two on the steering wheel and grasped for dear life. I felt a small rush of blood go to my head and I tried to tell myself that I was just being dramatic, but the truth was, I wasn’t. I wasn’t over exaggerating how I was feeling at all.

I proceeded slowly through the parked cars of those attending this service, my eyes gazed upon the sea of people in black sitting and standing under a green canopy. They surrounded a casket, with presumably someone they love lying on the inside. I could hear my son asking me a question over and over in the back of the van, but I was sincerely unable to answer him as I was processing the fear going on inside of me. This scene is probably the absolute most horrifying part of death. Once you’ve lost someone, whether it sudden, expected or tragic…this last, final part of standing over a box and a deep hole is terrifying.

“Mom!” Hayden shouts. “Where are we?!”

I told him we were at a cemetery, and he was silent for only a moment. But in that moment, I saw a grave dug for a second funeral, I assumed was to be held later that day. The canopy was set, the chairs were out and the pile of dirt was visible. Beyond that was a man sitting cross-legged near the headstone of someone gone. I could see his lips moving as he read out of a small book to this person lying below him. Even farther down the beautifully landscaped road I saw a young girl, with her bike parked, lying on her side next to a grave. She had her headphones on and seemed to be sleeping.

“Mom, is this where Grandma Rose is?” He said softly. 
“No, honey. We’re here to go look at something. This is a different cemetery. Not the one where Grandma Rose is”
“Your mom died.” He said.
“Yes, she did.” I confirmed. Every time the kids say this, it takes everything I have not to yell. "You shut your mouth. I know she died. I was there! I saw it! She was my mom and I know she died.!!!" But obviously I never say that.......
“Why did she die?” He asked.
“She was sick with cancer.” I explained, regretting that this was not the first time my little boy had heard me explain cancer.
This is where people DIE?”
I chuckled a bit, not sure why. His infliction on the word die was comical.
“No, sweetie. They don’t die here. But when people die, we bury them here, remember?” I asked him if he remembered expecting a 3 year old to actually remember.
“We bury them in the grass?” he asked.
“No, we bury them in a pretty box under the grass.”
“In the DIRT?” Again…the inflection made me laugh.
“Yes Buddy. In the dirt” I replied.
“But why?”
“Well, Hayden. When we die, our souls are gone and we don’t need our bodies anymore. So we put people’s bodies in the ground to go back to the Earth.”
“Oh, yeah.” He said, as if he really did remember.

We moved on and I found my way to the building I was looking for. It was beautiful. It turns out it is a shrine to those lost who marveled the aviation world. There was charming scenery; beautiful headstones and evidence that loved ones had just visited a few of them. I spent a good amount of time looking around the building while I let the kids play in the grass and sit on the big rocks surrounding a pretty fountain. I suppose the location of this shrine didn’t quite get my attention until a large plane took off from the airport and I realized the flight path was directly overhead. Courtney, Hayden and I were all struck silent as we watched these planes fly feet above us honoring these men and women who spent their lives in aviation.

On our way out, I saw a young man with a child. He stood solemnly still, hands folded in prayer with his head low over a grave while the child seemed to be picking grass. The other man was still there reading aloud to his love one lost and I drove as slowly out as I did in with respect to that funeral service that seemed to be coming to a close. Oh, what a terrible, final part of death that is…the funeral service and burial.

Setting aside the extreme sadness I encountered upon entering, I have to say, I had a nice time with my children. It really was a lovely cemetery.