To Leave or Not To Leave....

I am burned out. Oh, yes I am. Today I was thinking how cool it would be to punch out at 4 and go home. However, in that dreamland, I would have magical powers and lose the post-partum belly that resembles something out of an awful horror movie. Then I was thinking that maybe I could walk off the job. But, I wouldn’t just walk off the job. I would have to make a scene. I want to make it known that I quit and then storm out of the house. Before I left, I would certainly take a shower to prove to myself I still know how. On my way out of the house, I would knock over every miniature size chair that only half my butt fits in and shout to upper management “This job sucks!” while flipping the bird directly to the faces of those who treat me like a slave day in and day out.
Unfortunately, that will not work. The people I work for are 5, 3 and newly born. Knocking things over, flipping them off and shouting will only result in copycat behavior or tears…to which I would then have to stay on the job and console and later explain to the neighborhood moms why my 3 year old son is flipping them off.

So…….that’s not going to work.

    This type of internal hysteria has left me with a significant question.

To leave or not to leave?

    I often, and when I say often, I mean constantly, wonder if we lived closer to family, would having the demands of three children and everything that comes with it, be easier? I’m not joking when I say this, but this is why people here have help. It’s not because we’re all rich, it’s because we’re all losing our minds.
The Husband is working long hours to allow me to stay home. I feel very fortunate…most of the time…to be able to do so. We can’t presently change his schedule since we know how lucky he is to have a good job in the current economy. I don’t have The Uncles to just hang out after work and let the kids climb all over them. The Aunts, well, they would be like angels doing things to help a mom out without being asked and there is not a Grandma or Grandpa in the vicinity of 2300 miles.
My friends and neighbors…my dear friends and neighbors are amazing, it’s just different. (No need to unfriend me on Facebook, I’m only venting.) I think about the space we could provide the kids elsewhere, not to mention the lighter traffic, trees to climb, cousins to play with, boats to fish in, changes of seasons….blah blah blah.
When it comes down to it, I have more of a chance of seeing a pig fly, Hell freeze or being entertained by something Rene Zelwegger has done than to get my husband to move back closer to home.

(Big Sigh)

    I don’t hate California. I actually really love most everything about it. Especially those friends and neighbors who are NOT unfriending me on Facebook. I just wish we could use some scissors, cut out my home and everything I love about it and glue it somewhere else…closer to family.