My Mother's Youngest Sister

There are some big events that happened in 1994.

Nancy Harrigan was clubbed in the back of the knee by Tonya Harding.
There was a disastrous earthquake in Los Angeles, not far at all from where I live now.
There was a civil war in Rowanda, killing 500,000.
Major League Baseball players went on strike, leading to no World Series.
Jackie Kennedy Onassis was laid to rest next to President John F. Kennedy.
Kurt Cobain committed suicide, which affected more of my friends than myself.
Micheal Jackson married Lisa Marie Presley.
Tiger Woods won the masters at 18 breaking a couple of records.
Friends debuted on T.V.
The North American Free Trade Agreement was signed.
There was a crazy ice storm that froze a lot of the country.
Susan Smith drown her two sons.
President Nixon died.
And, who could ever forget that O.J. Simpson murdered was accused of murdering two people and led police on a memorable freeway chase.

A lot more happened in 1994, you can Google it yourself, but one event I will never forget, happened much closer to home.

Brenda, from this past summer

My Aunt Brenda...my mom's youngest sister, after having just dropped off her youngest two children, ages 3 and 5 months, to childcare, was on her way to work when her minivan slipped on hidden ice and slush and went directly into the path of a semi truck traveling on Central Avenue in Toledo, Ohio.

They collided head on.

I was 15 and was on Spring Break in Florida with a group of softball and baseball players from my High School when my mom reached me in the hotel. I sat behind the sofa looking out on to the ocean as she told me her sister had been in a terrible car accident and was in very, very bad shape.

When I got home from Florida, I went immediately to the hospital with my mother. Brenda was nearly unrecognizable. She is such a small woman, to think she had survived such a crash...well, it seemed impossible. She had just given birth five months prior to that, I can't help but think that maybe her body was still a little soft and pliable or maybe she had way too much to live for and not surviving wasn't an option.

Brenda, returning the love to my mom when she needed it.

I sat in the corner of the room and watched my mother stroke her hair and hold her hand, much like she'd always done for me when I was sick. As an adult now, I can barely stand the thought of what kind of pain my mom must have felt walking into that room.

Oh, to get that phone call.

Brenda's hair was shaved and she had staples holding her head back together. She had bruises and lacerations everywhere. She had a broken right wrist, a pelvis broken in three places, a broken right ankle and two collapsed lungs, which explained why she was beating at her chest as they brought her in to the E.R.

Melissa, Brenda's daughter who was also 15 at the time, said the emergency team was asking her to write down what she was trying to say, because talking was not an available means of communication for her...
she wrote down "can't breathe."

Brenda, an amazing woodworking artist has a hard time creating and longs to get back to it regularly.

That day in the hospital, I watched my mom try to talk with her. Brenda, being right handed, had to scribble with her left hand on a dry erase board. It was a basic Y for yes, and N for no.

I didn't say much. I just watched.

Brenda was forever changed from that accident. How could you not be? Physically and mentally, she was changed. She has spent the past 20 years in various forms of intense pain, constipation and lack of sleep. She's tried pain medicine, and all make her so sick, she'd rather live with the ailments. She's managed to raise Melissa to the brilliant young mother and wife she is, as well as that 3 year old and 5 month old, whom are now almost 23 and 20. She's survived the death of her father, her husband and the father of her children, the death of my mother, her sister and friend... and most recently, the death of her own mother.

Brenda..beautiful. She had a hard time standing for these pictures.

Here we are, nearly 20 years later and the effects of that accident still play a strong role in Brenda's life. 4 years ago, Brenda starting getting worse physically. The unexplained pain started to intensify, leaving her unable to move at times. I say unexplained because that is what her physician at The Fulton County Health center in Wauseon, Ohio has called it. And, rightfully so...because he's always been unable to give her answers. 

But it's there. The pain.

Dr. Uribes has consistently dismissed Brenda's pain as simply, "unexplained." She's been at the doctor several times seeking help only to be told that her anxiety must be the culprit. It's mental.

A year ago, Melissa took Brenda to the Emergency Room twice due to the fact that Brenda could not stand, she could not speak... she couldn't move.

It was then, that someone found it. Brenda had emergency surgery to repair a six inch hole in her diaphragm. They found a herniated diaphragm along with about 8 inches of intestines floating up between her lungs and ribs.

No wonder.

The Last Supper. All hand carved, drawn and painted by Brenda

And it only took 20 years to find. This was the result from an injury sustained in the accident so long ago. I was told also that Brenda has bone fragments floating around her body from that accident. Another recent discovery. If you can't hear my sarcasm in that, please allow me to tell you, it's sarcastic. These bone fragments would be nearly impossible to remove, and are more than likely hitting nerves and causing random pain.

Yet, her doctor has always told her he doesn't see why she isn't working and due to this, she's been denied the disability she absolutely needs to survive.

There are so many people who take advantage of this privilege reserved for those who truly need it. Brenda, is not one of those people.

Brenda has been unable to work since June. She has no health insurance and no income.
And as of this month, has been denied again for disability and still needs medical care. 

This is where the family is stepping in, while waiting for our health care system to do their part.
Because, right now, they are failing.

She creates mostly Western and Native American inspired art.

Thursday, November 21st, friends and family are hosting a very secretive fundraiser for Brenda in Deerfield, Michigan. She doesn't know about it, and she's not invited.

Brenda just so happens to be one of those people who have a hard time taking gifts..she'd much rather give. She's very good at it, too.

But, now, it's time for her to receive.

If you are in the area and would like to attend this event, email her daughter, Melissa Hudik.. HERE. 

If you would like to make a donation to help Brenda, 

please send cash or check made payable to Melissa Hudik to:

Melissa Hudik

P.O. Box 3891

Burbank, CA 91504

Brenda might be a complete stranger...but blessings are what she needs right now.