Dana Bell

I wrote a post for Expressing Motherhood about a woman I had the pleasure to work with in 2011. Her name is Dana.

 She's been living with Stage 4 Breast Cancer for a very long time. A true testament to faith and fight.
You can read it HERE.

Beth Moore Live!

I am headed down to Long Beach this evening to enjoy the one and only Beth Moore.
She just has a way.....

Seriously?

Today I had to go to Sammy's Camera on Fairfax to get my SLR a little TLC. What happened on the way there has to be one of the strangest things I've ever seen in Hollywood. And I've seen some strange things there...take my word.

While making a left onto Fairfax off of Melrose, right in front of Fairfax High School, a student ran across the street while the light was yellow causing the car in front of me and myself to halt just shy of clearing the intersection. Clearly, this threw off at least one little car behind me as she laid into her horn and did not stop....I mean it, she did not lay off her horn, even as we were all continually moving.

She proceeded to speed up around me to the left quickly...so she could cut me off intentionally and hit her brakes hard. She was trying to cause me to hit her. Period. She then stopped her car, put it into park....got out of the car and lifted her iPhone to start taking pictures of me behind the wheel.

Yes.

She was taking pictures of me behind the wheel. In the middle of the street causing more of a traffic problem than I did 30 seconds prior.

I did not do anything but look at her, completely shocked that this girl thought she should take my photograph in the middle of the street on Fairfax because I caused her to slow down on a busy street in front of a High School letting out. 

I just dont get it. It actually made my stomach sick.

As she got back in her car, I snapped a photo of her license plate.

The driver of this car, right here.....is not cool.


The worst part of this trip to Hollywood was the pedistrian vs. car accident I saw on the way back. Not a good day to be in a car in Hollywood, CA.

God bless all of you who call that place home. I could not do it. Burbank is busy enough for me.

Compassion Assignment # 4 - Letter

 
pov·er·ty
[pov-er-tee]
noun
1. the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; 
condition of being poor. Synonyms: privation, neediness, destitution, indigence, 
pauperism, penury. Antonyms: riches, wealth, plenty.


Basically, poverty can be defined as the lack of things which are required by the human being to survive. You know...having no food, water...shelter. Oh, and medical help. Let’s throw education into that list as well. Now, I’m not saying that all humans who are currently living in poverty are in such dire needs, but I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest most are.

This weeks Compassion Assignment was to write a letter as if we were the sponsored child. It’s now Friday, and I’ve been thinking all week on how to do this, and I’m not sure I can. Not even for a minute can I set myself inside the feet of a child who only knows life living in poverty. I have a hard time trying to imagine what my life would be like if I had eyes of a child and only knew insecurity.

I have no idea how hard it would be to wonder where my next meal would come from...or maybe knowing what reading and writing is, but having an understanding that I probably wouldn't learn that.

I am not sure how I would feel if I felt the love of God, but could never read His word.

You see, I have so many clothes, they are coming out of my drawers. Clothes I barely wear. I have food for myself and our family at any time we need...or want...to eat. We toss leftovers in the trash knowing there is more food where that came from. My children have the blessing to attend a school where they not only hear daily how much God loves them, a Bible is required text. If we are dirty, we take a shower...in clean water. We have shoes, electricity, automobiles, technology, education, a roof, insurance and clean clothes.

I don't think for a second, I could ever imagine what life is like from a child’s perspective who might not have anything on that list.

What I can do is put my face on the floor and thank God for the blessings He has bestowed upon our family....and ask him ‘God, what can I do?’

What can I do?

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” -1 John 3:17-18

This world is filled with children who have no idea what it's like to live outside of poverty. We have children right here in our own back yards that know this as well as children in third world countries. Compassion International is part of the answer to my question...What can I do?

Please consider sponsoring a child somewhere in the world, so they may have clothes, food and a glimpse into a life just a little bit better....so that they may see the hand of God extended to them...individually. So that they may have an actual Bible to read God’s word..so that they can learn to read at all.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Today she would have been 58 years old.

I’m not going to get all sad and sappy about it, because the last birthday she had was really fun. She laughed a lot, but she always laughed a lot.

She honestly found a lot of things funny, including herself.
She laughed a lot at herself.

She laughed hysterically telling the story of when she ordered some french fries and a fish sandwich at McDonalds and pulled away after paying...neglecting to get her food....forgetting she had even ordered food until 3 miles down the road!

She laughed at that one every time.

On this last birthday of hers, I picked up her cake at Kroger...the first words that came to my mind were “Sweet Rose.” I also went shopping for her at Macy’s and got her a bunch of stuff for fall...sweaters, jeans, tops.

None of which she ever wore. Those kinds of things arent comfortable during chemotherapy. I kind of knew that, but wanted her to feel pretty anyway.
As a matter of fact, I have all of those clothes now...and wear some myself from time to time.

I’m not too sad today...it’s just a sad situation. Birthdays are wonderful days. We celebrate life, right? Well, funerals and death are the same thing. We celebrate life...their life. I’ll be celebrating her life forever.

So, Happy Birthday Sweet Rose!

Her Recipe Box

I have been looking through my mother’s recipe box this morning and you know what the very best part of it is?

It’s not how worn and tattered some of this paper is. It’s as if she grabbed anything close to her to write down a recipe...including folded paper plates and sales receipts from when my dad was selling potato chips. There is no rhyme or reason to it. No Organization.

It’s not that.

It’s not the oil spots that make most of the recipes see-through. Spots that make me understand how frequently she used most of these formulas...stains on pieces of paper that have recipes our home frequently devoured and memories of her hands creating some of these masterpieces.

It’s not that either.


It’s her handwriting.

Her very familiar style of writing that makes me feel she’s just written me a letter.
That she’s alive and breathing...sharing these stories of creativity with me still.

Her handwriting that brings me back to school notes when I was absent in elementary, permission slips for field trips, birthday cards, thank you notes, journal entries......and recipes.

How totally awesome it is to see her write.

Compassion Assignment #3 - Pinterest Contest

First of all, I'm going to say that my husband is not going to be happy.

I have finally....FINALLY...joined Pinterest. I have purposely avoided this sector of social media intentionally due to my susceptibility to get sucked in to things like this. I mean it, I thought Facebook was bad, but if you add all these amazing pictures/recipes/DIY projects/clothes/shoes...a girl like me can wind up not feeding her children dinner due to preoccupation with how to make soap out of cardboard.
Ok, so you probably cant make soap out of cardboard, but I'm sure someone has tried.
My point is....I have joined Pinterest.
And for a very, very good reason...

...to let you all know about the contest Compassion International is doing during this Blog Month of September. I am helping spread the word about child sponsorships around the world. 1,515 children in poverty have been sponsored this month! To get to their goal, 1,593 more children need help. And that's just the goal this month. There are many, many more children in need.

You can read about our family's child sponsorship HERE. 

And you can get all the details about the Pinterst contest HERE.

Be sure to check out my brand spanking new Pinterest Page...and re-pin my pin...Does that even sound right? I have no idea what I'm doing. Give me a week.....

Candace Cameron-Bure...the conversation.

I had an amazing opportunity about a week ago to attend the exclusive unveiling of the new Disney Baby store at The Americana in Glendale.

Now Open! 

Inside Disney Baby

Love

Part of this celebration was a baby shower for 20 military moms presented by Operation Shower...which happens to be an amazing act of service for a lot of families. We were able to see what the store looked like and what they carried inside.


We had delicious eats, coffee and live music from Kenny Loggins. Yes...that Kenny Loggins. He now has a collection of children’s music and it’s quite delightful. Little does he know how many times I’ve played Footloose over and over since 1984 rocking out....like I was the original singer of the song.

 I felt extremely special at the invite to attend and cover this event as part of the media. We knew there would be celebrities, with or without their children, in attendance.  And I knew that I would be able to interview any of them if they were willing and had time. While waiting to get a personal tour of the store, I noticed Candace Cameron-Bure sitting at the table next to me. I had no idea she was going to be there.

Let me cut back to earlier that morning, before I even left home. I pray, like I do every morning, for the day, my husband, my children at school and whoever or whatever I feel needs praying for in my life. In particular, I prayed that I may have the chance to talk about God with someone that day. For anyone who follows me, or knows me well, you know I love to talk about God. So, that was my prayer.

Let’s go back to me noticing Candace sitting at the table next to me. There it was. My opportunity to talk about God. I didn't know what I would ask..or how I would even start a conversation about faith with her, but I knew I needed to talk to her. How would a conversation about faith have anything to do with a Disney Baby event? I wasn’t sure either.

As I stood outside the Disney Baby store waiting for my turn to see what’s inside, I saw Candace making her way to the exit. Still completely unaware of what I would say to her...and why, I did my best to get her attention and see if I could ask her a few questions.

The lovely Candace Cameron-Bure

And..I did.


The woman escorting her to her car told me that she couldn't, and didn't have time. But Candace politely said to her “No, it’s ok. Really, it’s fine.”

Face to face with Candace Cameron-Bure, I started to speak. It would actually be considered something more like mumbling...nonsense....embarrassment..you get the picture.

I was dying to ask her if John Stamos is as cute in person as he is on television, but luckily that’s not what came out. I briefly explained who I was and where I write...and what I write about. The poor girl probably thought some crazy blogger has just got a hold of her and there will certainly be no escape from this incoherent rambling....

Still unaware of what I wanted to say, I eventually got to this:


“So, I suppose what I’d like to know from you is, when I say “Parenting” and “Faith”, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

“Prayer.”  She replied to me knowing what her answer would be even before I finished my sentence.

“Prayer” she said again.

Thank you Lisa Robertson of BabesInDisneyland.com for this photo!

I had no idea what the etiquette was for recording someone’s conversation, so I neglected to pull out my iPhone and shove it in her face. 
Instead I grabbed my notebook and pen and began to write down her every word. This was a conversation I knew I wanted to keep in my head. Of course, now as I’m reading through my notes, they appear to be as incoherent as my interview technique was.

I’m going to paraphrase the amazing advice I received from Candace that morning, except where there are quotations...I did manage to get a few things down.

She humbly explained to me that she is “face down on her knees” every morning praying for her children, also sharing with me that she “now prays more than ever” for them because they are older and facing challenges in life that require more thought and discernment.

“The power of prayer over our children” is something she values with utmost importance. “Pray scripture over them.” Scripture is amazing. In my personal experience as a wife and mother, the Bible has been the absolute best source on parenting and marriage I have come across.

We continued to talk about how difficult it is to raise children, period. But being in Southern California with a fast pace of life and not always being surrounded by people who share our same worldview, can make it even more difficult. I know this would be true for most parents.

“My children are dedicated to the Lord” and that’s how she can feel confident that they are protected with Love when they walk out the door. This is something I’m hoping to correctly establish in raising my children with my husband...a dedication to God.

So, I suppose it was fitting that we had a conversation in front of the Disney Baby store where their tagline is “creating magical moments right from the start™.” Because, I truly feel that our opportunities are there with our kids right from the start.





My children will fulfill God’s will and purpose for their lives. (Psalm 138:8)

Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be “alert and self-controlled” in all they do.  (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

Father, grant that my children may “show proper respect to everyone,” as Your Word commands.
(1 Peter 2:17)

Grant that my children may learn responsibility, “for each one should carry his own load”.
(Galatians 6:5)

Dear God; Compassion Assignment #2

I am participating in Compassion's Blog Month to help raise awareness of child sponsorship and to help with their goal of getting 3,108 children around the world sponsored. So far this month there have been 837 sponsorships! Amazing. This weeks assignment was to write a letter to God.





Dear God,

Thank you for the ability for me to see beyond myself. It’s been a long journey for me to get here, but thank you. I will keep working on it forever, I’m sure. Thank you for the gifts you have bestowed on me so that where there is a need, I can help.
Even one child.
You have told us using Matthew how important one cup of cold water is.
Just one cup.
I can do that. Lord, thank you for the ability.
Lord, I do believe its easy for us to turn a blind eye to what’s happening outside of our immediate lives...because its hard to handle the pain and suffering of others when we all have the pain right inside our own walls.
Thank you for giving me the courage to step outside and help, even in what seems to be the smallest way.
I am still trying to figure out why things happen in our world the way they do but it seems possible that those who are learning more about your grace while helping others are the ones who are actually selflessly helping.

Thank you for the gift of our sponsored child, Bryan. I’m not sure if I will ever truly be aware of his circumstances unless with my own eyes, but in the meantime, I am so grateful to be able to help in any way I'm lead.

I know he loves our letters. He tells me so. We love his too. My children ask about him frequently. Thank you for letting us in on his life.

I wish there were no needy children, and I know one day there will be a time when this wish will come true, but until then...thank you for opening my eyes, heart and home to be compassionate.

Thank you Lord.

Hope you had a great extended weekend!

Compassion Assignment #1

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?”                                                                                                                           -James 2:15-16


When I was very pregnant with my second baby, I finally took the advice of a friend and hired some help in the house. If I had family anywhere nearby me, this would be unnecessary for sure. At first, I really just wanted help cleaning places I couldn't get to...literally, my body wouldn't fit. But eventually I realized I needed some extra help just getting everyday things done. So, we hired a woman based on the referral of the neighbor’s house cleaner. She came into our lives at the perfect time and helped me in more ways than I would have thought possible.

Ester, with her very little English and I, with my extremely broken Spanish would talk...and not about the weather. She was very open and after we learned to trust each other, she shared many details about herself, her family and her travels to the United States. She was not legal, as it turns out. This is something that many have issue with, as I fully understand.

I, on the other hand, have very complicated feelings about this. Ester, at that point in time, had not seen her three children back in El Salvador for five years. As she told me this, I cried. In a separate conversation, she gave me details of the terrifying three months it took her to get to the U.S. Starvation, dehydration, fear, scrapes, bruises, broken bones all included. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult life must be for a mother, a very loving mother, to feel she needs to leave her children to actually help them. How desperate must someone be?

Ester was in our lives for a handful of years and it went beyond cleaning the house. She helped take care of my children and myself in the absence of my own mother. I actually talked to her by phone from my mother’s funeral, a woman Ester had met several times, to let her know she had passed. Ester really has had an impact on me.

About two years ago, a friend was sharing information on Compassion International. My heart was immediately drawn in.Thinking immediately of Ester, I asked her “Could I sponsor a child in El Salvador?” “Yes! Absolutely!” She replied to me.

When I found out what Compassion does in Jesus’ name and how many poverty stricken children they help worldwide, our family signed up immediately. We were actually able to choose between three sets of information of children sent to us, all of whom needed sponsorship. Within seconds I knew right away which one was speaking to me. I asked my then 5 year old what she thought and she picked the same child I did. We talked it over with daddy and Bryan was the boy.

He is now 12. He lives in El Salvador with his mother and two siblings. He loves soccer, drawing, going to school and riding his bike. Those are all things he has been able to share with us in his letters over the years. With our sponsorship, we help Bryan go to school, get food, water and supplies. He also gets to learn about God, something else he tells me he likes as well.

Bryan draws a picture on the back of every letter.

Sponsoring a child is easy. We have a home, food, clothes, transportation, educations and lots of love to give. We are blessed. The small monthly donation for him is now part of our family budget. Our children love to draw him pictures and write letters, now that they can. We pray for him and his family and talk about him sometimes as though he is part of our family and right here with us.

In my dreamworld, I would love to visit Bryan in El Salvador and give him a hug...and maybe have him laugh at my broken Spanish. It’s also in the back of my mind to seek out Esters children while I’m there....and hug them too..for her and for me. It's now been 10 years since Ester has physically seen her children...the computer helps her see them online. Their mother brought El Salvador to our family...and I do think God brought her to me.

Save Children

Priority

I’m dating someone.

I just returned from our second date. Yes, it’s the middle of the afternoon, and two of the three were in school while the youngest one was at the neighbors...as I went on this date. Oh..and he kissed me goodbye too.

We went to Ikea...for lunch.

Ok, so I’m dating my husband. We’ve been married for nine years and let’s be honest, shall we. Nine years, seven of which have been filled with 1-3 children and financial ups and downs, stresses, death of loved ones and so much more have left us basically neglecting one another and just trying to survive.

Well, neglect in a marriage can take its toll. So..no more. Hubby and I both agree.

We had a “first” date last week and it was lovely. My daughter helped my husband do his hair and pick out his clothes...and he picked me flowers from the yard. Yes he did.

Vincas, hand ripped just for me.

See..we forget to do these things for each other. I rarely take the time to make myself presentable for him as I would a girlfriend I’m meeting at the mall. He doesnt take the time to always open the car door for me, knowing I adore it, because..well, we just dont have the time.

So, we’re dating...to make sure we take the time to do these small things for each other...and so we can talk about other things than just the kids.

So far so good.

And Ikea was a multi-tasking stop. Lunch...and a book shelf.

Sending Him Forward

Another summer spent in Michigan is over and starting tomorrow I’ll be packing lunches for my 2nd grader and Kindergartner on their first day of school. Time goes way too fast.

This little man I live with, my little Hayden, will be starting full day Kindergarten in the morning. He was born two weeks late and entered the world at a whopping 23 1/2 inches long. The pediatrician on Tuesday estimated his adult height to be around 6’1”.  It’s really no surprise why my stomach looks the way it does 5 years later. The child I gave birth to after him basically had a 3 bedroom apartment to lounge around in.

In the age we are currently in, many parents are holding their children, especially boys, back a year prior to entering full time school. And with good concern too. I have an older child and I know exactly what is headed Hayden’s way. A lot of memorization, no less than 15 minutes of homework 3 nights a week and a challenging environment pushing his fine motor skills to the brink of destruction. That may be an exaggeration, but knowing my boy, when frustration with those motor skills arises, the chalkboard may be eating a pencil or two.

Last year, I had Hayden in a preschool that came highly recommended by several friends. Friends I trust and admire. Friends whose advise I cherish. But a few months in, I knew this school was not the right fit for my son. My older daughter would not have had a hard time with the structure of the school, but if there is one thing I have learned as a parent, it’s that every single one of my children are different and require different things. Almost always.

My son is active. I would never go with “spirited” because that makes me think of Tinkerbell. And if Hayden ever met Tinkerbell he’d probably sit her on a spoon with some kind of lever he’d brilliantly constructed and see how far across the backyard he could flick her. He’s active.

Hayden is wired like his father. His father is a thinker. He’s always been ahead of the curve with academics and my son is no different. I’ve known early on that the brain inside that child's head is moving a few steps ahead of several children around him. He talked early and with huge vocabulary. He started doing mental math when he was three and just by sitting in the same room as his older sister doing homework at 4, he could answer many of her homework questions before she could.

Hayden & Daddy

Now, I am not saying I have a genius on my hands. I just have a very smart boy. He’s also big for his age and extremely immature, behaviorally speaking. It makes for a very complicated situation when deciding whether or not he should go to Kindergarten at 5 or wait until 6. My husband and I decided not to wait. He turned 5 in July and he’s starting Kindergarten tomorrow. We feel very confident about the decision and I’d love to share why.

At that preschool where he spent 3/4 of the year, he was constantly getting into trouble. He couldn't sit still. He liked to hug, run, jump, laugh, knock things over and make loud noises. When I dropped him off, I felt like I was looked at like the one who was going to destroy all the other childrens’ experiences that day by bringing “that boy” to class. The teachers method of discipline was a soft, gentle explanation of what he did wrong and to distract him with something else. Again, that may have worked for my daughter...it was not working with my son.

The year continued until just prior to spring break when we had conferences. I was told that Hayden was “socially delayed” and that he needed “play therapy.” I was told that I should never teach him to hold a pencil before he’s ready due to me “delaying him developmentally even further.” I was told that he was “currently being treated as a special needs child...no different than if he were in a wheel chair.” They told me there is “no way Hayden should go to Kindergarten next year.”

Now, as a mother, I KNOW sometimes we miss things in our children that others can clearly see. I didn't care if Hayden was going to Kindergarten or not, I certainly wasn't going to push him. I am a reasonable woman and can most often times be diplomatic with stuff like this. But I am also my child’s advocate. And that teacher was wrong.

I took the next week to interview anyone I could who spends time with Hayden, including his Pediatrician. I had Hayden actually evaluated with an Occupational Therapist for ADD..Autism..you name it. I wanted to be sure I was not the naive one here. The therapist did share with me that she could clearly see he was a sensory seeker. He needs the physical input to regulate his central nervous system. It all made perfect sense to me. One of the friends I interviewed mentioned something of the same observation. The therapist said it's not anything 10 minutes on a trampoline or regular exercise can't help. "He needs input, and any experienced teacher will see that." I then took Hayden for a trial day in the Junior Kindergarten program at his older sisters school, not mentioning anything about the preschool.

He did amazing. The teacher, within one day, asked me if I knew “how bright he was.” I said yes and cried. She explained to me that when Hayden was pushing limits, she gave him a firm “No” and told him what he was supposed to be doing. She said he’s all boy and that she thinks he’ll be just fine with her the rest of the year. I then filled her in on the information that was given to me from his preschool and she assured me he would be just fine.

Hayden finished out last year in Pre-Kindergarten, where in one week, he blossomed. I mean it, he changed. When we were done in June, I asked the Junior Kindergarten teacher if Hayden should wait a year before going on. Her reply was “Oh, Honey. If he stays with me one more year, he’ll be bored to tears.” All the teachers at this school, including the principal concur that my little man should move ahead, despite his immature behavior. My husband and I agree.


Tonight, we got to meet the teachers and see the classrooms before they start school tomorrow. Hayden’s desk was front and center. My heart was lifted, because I know these teachers truly know him and don't want him to fail. And for all I care, I hope he sits front and center all year.

My boy. All boy.

New York City

I am currently in New York City representing The Rose Run & Expressing Motherhood. I am now headed to bed to give the Blogher12 5k a try in the morning.

Wish me luck.

This could be funny.

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,
Over three years have passed since I’ve heard the sound of your voice from your lips. I’m pausing even now, writing this to you, because that seems absolutely impossible.
Impossible I tell you.
So this is the eve of your death. I know that on this night three years ago, I laid at the foot of your bed watching you breathe. You needed medication every two hours and Sharon and I were the only ones you’d let give it to you.
I counted the seconds between your breaths in horror. I remember every thought I had and the disbelief that that was real life.
Closer to death you actually began to pause 12 then 13 then 15 seconds and then longer between chest raises.
Impossible, I tell you. Truly impossible to believe that this much time has passed.
I cannot tell you or anyone else around me how much I miss you. Words wont do.
How much I miss my mom.
Ouch.

Mom, the kids are amazing. Shelby is in 1st grade now and she can read and write! She is so beautiful and athletic and funny, sensitive, brave, confident and a go-getter, that’s for sure.

Hayden is all boy. He’s handsome and tall and athletic and smart...very, very smart. He loves to climb trees, throw rocks, jump on or off of anything, run and I know he’d hunt if he could...because he is all boy.
And Courtney...I know you’ve never met her and that breaks my heart, it truly does. I hope that when she was a twinkle in God’s eye, he showed her to you before she was sent this way. She is absolutely adorable and comical, stubborn, charming and cuddly.

Life is good...but I’m still in a lot of pain. It’s funny, mom, it’s not the same pain as what tomorrow brought me three years ago. It’s a different kind of pain, a dull, constant ache.

Don and I are doing really well. I’ve devoted myself to living how Jesus teaches and it’s truly amazing what that has done for me personally, and our family.

Jeff is getting married! He’s getting married mom, and I’m so happy for him. You’ll never believe it, but he’s marrying Jenni...his high school sweetheart. I am truly, truly ecstatic for them, they are on a wonderful path together.

And Joe....he’s just amazing. He’s grown up so much mom. You’d be so proud of him. So proud. He’s working hard in something he believes in and is climbing hurdles as they come. He’s working very hard.

I miss you. Every single day. The anniversary of your death is not much different than any other day of the year. I suppose I’m just reminded of the traumatic events that occurred on that day. Events that someday, I’ll share. Someday I’ll write about them mom, because they’re in my head and they need to come out.

I love you deeply. I miss you more. I’m sure you’re watching somehow, someway and there is comfort in that.
Oh, how I miss you.

 

My August 2009 performance in Expressing Motherhood in Los Angeles. 

Based on a blog post on Strengthofarose.com