Her First Day

Well, I did it.

I mean Shelby did it, but I wasn’t really worried about her.

Kindergarten is a success. A huge success.


On the morning of that first day, I held back tears while I packed her lunch, while I made her breakfast, while I brushed her hair and help her put on her uniform. I held back tears on the way to school, on the walk to the campus and watching her wait with soon to be friends. I held back tears as some other kids in the line for her class were blubbering messes and so were their parents. I held back the tears as I continued to give her a thumbs up and a smile when she looked at me in confusion over the other children’s emotions. I even managed to hold back tears as her little brother clung to my leg crying, “I want my Shelby, mom. She’s my best friend. I miss my Shelby!”
I was so proud of her. I was so happy for her. I was so scared for her, because I know what she’s about to get into.

Life.

I managed to hold it all in…….until she turned to walk away.

She was off to her classroom with her new classmates and then, I cried. I couldn’t speak for a few minutes and shortly after, I was alright.

I was ok that day, until I called my Dad to tell him about my independent little girl’s first day of Kindergarten. He said to me,
    “Oh yeah, I remember your mom on your first day. Once you were on that bus, she was a mess.”

After I hung up the phone with my dad, I cried again. I cried for that moment when I was getting on the bus as a 5-year-old and I had no idea, nor could I, of what my mother went through.

Now that my mom's not here, I really didn’t think I would ever get any more information from that day, but I was wrong. I think I now know how my mother felt that morning…. presumably, the same way I did this week.